Scars

You know that feeling when you read something that really hits home? That feeling when you hear a song that speaks to your soul. When you read or hear something that you deeply connect with, that explains exactly how you feel in a way that you could never quite put into words? Well that’s what I want to share with you today…

Scars can be hard to come to terms with. They are a constant reminder of how they came to be and can be a painful reminder of something which made such a mark on your body and your soul.

As the group farewelled me goodbye from my hospital bed, I was presented with a present- a book called ‘Little Bee’ written by Chris Cleave. Whilst in hospital, the book lay there unopened. I just didn’t have the energy or desire to read. But on my return home to Australia and back to my parents’ home where I would live for the next 22 or so months, I picked it up one night when I couldn’t sleep and it just spoke- or should I say screamed- to me.

I was feeling miserable because I couldn’t walk. I hated feeling helpless and not being able to do anything for myself. But most of all I hated the horrible scar that ran down the outer side of my right leg; it was ugly and made my ankle and leg look deformed and worst of all it was a constant reminder of everything that I couldn’t do and that I had to give up.

Then I turned the page and read: “I ask you right here please to agree with me that a scar is never ugly. That is what the scar makers want us to think. But you and I, we must make an agreement to defy them. We must see all scars as beauty. Okay? This will be our secret. Because take it from me, a scar does not form on the dying. A scar means, I survived.”  and immediately I felt better. I read the words over again and the resonated with me wholly. Perhaps, my scars were not as ugly as I thought they were. Perhaps these scars meant that I was stronger than I thought. Perhaps, instead my scars were actually a sign of my inner strength and perseverance and most of all perhaps I should stop feeling sorry for myself. This one quote allowed me to be thankful that it was over and that I was beginning to heal.

 

“Some people see scars and it is the wounding they remember. To me they are proof of the fact they’re healing.”- Linda Hogan

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Wounds heal and so can we heal our pasts. However that does not mean that the pain ceases to exist. It doesn’t mean that you never have to face up to the pain but instead what it does mean is that we are able to heal. When we look up and look around and acknowledge where we have been, we will never allow our past to stop where we can go.

A scar means “I survived”. A scar means we have a life to live, with all the pain and joy and confusion that life can hold.

It is funny how people and things come into your life just when you need them most. So, here’s my question to my readers out there, have you ever read or heard something that you deeply connect with, that explains exactly how you feel in a way that you could never quite put into words? If so, I’d love to hear about it!

Namaste, Natalie

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3 thoughts on “Scars

  1. So glad that book inspired you. I really enjoyed it except for the ending. I think we find meaning and hope from everything around us. Some people believe in angels, I believe that people come into our lives when we need them most. I have experienced this several times in my lifetime. That is why I believe that we have to help each other whenever we can in case we are the person who should be there for them.

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    1. Yes, I wasn’t keen on the ending either. I know that you wholeheartedly believe that as I have witnessed your kindness, compassion and generosity so many times. You really have a beautiful heart. Xo

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  2. Today your post spoke to me my lovely friend…the hardest part in my rehabilitation from my car accident is that I don’t have scars. I revel in the fact I am alive. I had bruises…which doesn’t physically describe the pain I’ve been in. My mind has been bright, focussed and positive…my scar is invisible. Reading this post reminded me – that my body bears internal scars that take time, my bones have been scarred…time…patience…time words i keep hearing! I’m ready with the resilience bouncing back part – but my body is not! So I’m the opposite, it’s the absence of a scars that have been hard to take. Instead I’ve allowed myself to make visible the invisible scars and trauma and allowed myself to succumb to the fact I need to heal. That’s been very healing! Onwards and upwards & I have to learn about what my physio talks about when she speaks of the healing pathology – she said we need to respect the body’s own repairing ability, that takes time…so time…and just one day, one step…Thanks Nat!

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